Your Boring And Unsuccessful Life

Posted by Raymond Burton | .
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Every day you can learn something new and today was one of those days for me. I realized how much of our daily life is about trying to find security, stability and dependability. The funny thing is that once we find it, we run off looking for something to throw a monkey wrench in our plans because we are bored. We hate being bored almost as much as we hate not being certain about things.

I’ll take two examples. The first one being relationships and the second being food.

Number one. Why do some people bounce from relationship to relationship? Sometimes it’s because relationships are fun in the beginning because of the uncertainty. There is no predicability or boredom because everything is so fresh. Then, as you get to know the person, you realize that your future goals don’t match up, you bale. You bale because you want to be sure that this person will be with you forever and that you can depend on them to walk on the same path you want your life to take.

So you are out single again and looking for that soul mate. Life is fun and exciting but also full of uncertainty. After fishing around for a while, you find them. You match up in all areas. You almost know exactly what they are going to say before they say it and it’s like you are one. You’re also super bored because there is no surprise. No mystery or drama. Off you go again.

As humans we are stuck in a really funny situation. We crave security for survival reasons. Security and certainty. We need to have our ducks in a row and know what’s going on. Then the flip side comes in. All humans crave adventure, excitement and stimulation.

We are always being led around in this crazy circle by our pre programmed needs.

Now for number two. What about those of us that have tried many times to get our weight under control only to go out and totally sabotage our efforts with a huge binge? Well, you want the change of creating a better body. It’s a major goal for you. You want to be in shape, feel great and be healthy. Most of us however are not 100 percent sure that our dieting and exercise actions will take us to where we want to be in a smooth and dependable way. The only problem is that you know in the back of your mind that a binge day is dependable. Without a doubt, you can be certain that a big junk meal will make you feel wonderful. At least for the short term. It’s the same with drinking. You are looking for that dependable state change. Jumping from dependable emotional fix to emotional fix that you can count on. You mix the dependable with the state change or variety to put it another way. A very potent mental drug and action stimulator. The problem is that the combined two drives of dependable and certain pleasurable emotional responses and your goals may be in opposition. This is bad.

How to fix this situation is what we will cover next. Because when you can make the striving towards your goals a dependable certainty that excites you along the way, you’ll be unstoppable.

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One Response to “Your Boring And Unsuccessful Life”

  1. Do You Feel Special? on

    [...] talked before about how certainty and excitement are two opposing forces that are battling back and forth inside us. Both want to be satisfied and [...]

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