Do You Feel Special?

Posted by Raymond Burton | .
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I’ve talked before about how certainty and excitement are two opposing forces that are battling back and forth inside us. Both want to be satisfied and sometimes they are in opposition which leads us to an inner conflict most of the time and worst case scenario it keeps us from attaining our goals.

Before I get going much further, let me say that I am not the inventor of these ideas. I simply learned them and found them helpful. I think they ring true and want to share them in the hopes that they will help you as much as they did me.

There is a third force at play as well. Actually there are six and we’ll get to them. First though, number three. The third human need that is always working in the background program is significance. People want to feel needed, special and important.

If you have a job where it does not matter if you are there, 5000 other people are doing the exact same thing as you and on your uniform you have a number, you probably don’t like your job to much. At the least, you’re probably not passionate about it.

The previous example is a glass half empty scenario. What about from a positive standpoint? How about that every time you come home, the whole family gets excited and runs to the door. The children call you dad or mom and your spouse says that they are so happy you’re home. Do you want to be there? More than likely.

This is what it is like to be special, important and significant. Most people want this. Regardless if you are aware of it or not, you are seeking it in some way, shape or form, every day.

So now a reality check. If you are unhappy in a situation, you have three things to check on immediately to see if they are being violated or simply not happening. You want to know outcomes with certainty. Simply stated you want stability. Next, check if this thing is boring you. Are you getting any sort of exciting pleasure out of it? Then in third spot you check if it makes you feel significant or important. Does it draw attention to you. This is another form of number three.

Drawing attention is a big one. You see it all the time with people that carry a bad attitude. They have nothing special about them other than the fact that their bad attitude gets them attention. It makes them feel special in a negative form. The same as abuse does. It makes the abuser feel powerful and significant.

Let’s wrap it up for now. Go over the four points on any area of your life that is not clicking for you. There are two more like I mentioned and we’ll cover them in another article. Then once they are all covered. I’ll get to how to use these ideas to make things better.

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