7 Days To Live

But I don’t want you to be sad.

I only have 7 days to live.

But I don’t want you to be sad.

I remember struggling to pull myself forward each and every day.

I hid from things that threatened me and kept to myself.

But one day, darkness consumed me. And I stayed stuck.

My void was a suspension of life. I was immobilized by a deep desire to change, and yet I could not escape.

My consciousness turned inward. I withdrew.

I wasn’t ready to change.

I felt like I was being broken down. My will to continue life, dissolved.

And something else was happening. I felt like if I let go and let my real self take over, maybe I could continue.

That my existence didn’t have to end.

And that was when something inside awoke and reshaped my being.

Like a hidden blueprint for my life was waiting all this time.

I just had to stop trying to be something I wasn’t.

Shielded there in the darkness, away from the outside world, I finally let go.

And something bigger than myself reassembled my new parts, piece by piece.

Then, the shelter that protected began to feel like a prison.

And I wanted to live.

But I felt weak. I tried a little and rested. And I tried again a little more.

And the inescapable void that held me began to crack.

I held onto what I knew for a while.

Torn from the devil I knew, afraid of what was to come.

I didn’t know how to move forward, but I knew I couldn’t stay here forever.

I rested again, and new strength came. With this new strength, I dared to let go.

The new colours, smells, light, and vibrancy filled me with a desire to soar.

And I discovered all the beauty around me.

Not only that, but I finally felt drawn to others around me.

There was no ‘around me’ before. Just ‘against me.’

And this is why I don’t want you to be sad.

I have finally lived.

And although the time is short, it is an explosion of beauty and love.

I have seven days to live.

The next void is rapidly approaching, and I do cling to this life.

But I also wonder…


From Ray: I went to the Calgary Zoo today. In the conservatory, they have a butterfly house. There was an unusually high number of them fluttering about.

I was spellbound, watching them, listening to the waterfall, and breathing in the sweet oxygenated air.

That’s when someone said to me that some of them only live 7 days in their adult stage, and I got the thinking…

Story originally posted on Medium.com and reposted here for saving.


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