Anxiety is a combination “big boss enemy.” It builds itself out of many things but the keystone is that you don’t have solutions to something you perceive as a possible threat (or many threats.)
Looking at it this way, if you can conquer the threat, then the anxiety it causes you will cease.
Not perceived as a threat = no anxiety
Here is a quick breakdown I use to wrap my head around the complex entity known as anxiety.
- Feeling it in your brain is worry.
- Feeling it in your body is stress
- Feeling it in your body and brain is anxiety
- Feeling it in your brain and body in a way that renders you dysfunctional and helpless becomes a possible anxiety disorder.
Something is not a threat if you know the steps that are required to fix the situation. All that is required, is action.
However, we can experience anxiety if we don’t know what to do. If we are confused. If we are lost without direction.
This is why “Mission First” has become a staple in my life. It gives direction.
Action: When I feel anxious, I will determine the cause, what I see as a solution and then start on a plan to correct it. Once that is done, I look at what the very first, small step of action is.
And take it.
This process does a couple things.
- It takes the mental part of worry and puts it to use working on the problem, solution and actionable steps. The brain can only hold one thought at a time and a brain thinking about steps, solutions and plans cannot worry.
- It takes the physical part of stress and puts it to use taking action on doing something, typing out a plan, physically looking for solutions or moving an entity from point A to B. You can also throw a physical activity like working out in there to really calm this part down and release feel good hormones to counteract the stress.
This forward momentum also creates a feedback loop of moving into control instead of BEING controlled. You are actively handling the situation instead of being beaten up by anxiety.
I basically lump my anxieties into a couple groups…
- There is anxiety/anger about why things are going wrong at this moment.
- There is an anxiety about the future. (An hour from now when I see my boss or in 30 years paying for the retirement home.)
Here’s an example of each.
1. Right now: A lion chases me. Physical stress. Must move, now. Or oddly, the mental now, “Why is this lion chasing me and being mean? What did I do to him?”
2. Future: Thinking, worrying, mental, “What if the lion comes back, gets my family, where is the lion now, what if the lion starts stalking me where I like to eat apples?”
The Imagined Enemy
It makes sense to think about preventing the obvious threats in our lives but in can get out of hand when you start trying to predict and prevent threats that you have no control over. I mean, you never REALLY know where a lion is waiting….
(I’d like to talk more about PTSD and Hyper Vigilance at a later date because it’s something that kind of belongs in the anxiety arena and I understand it as a Veteran.)
Seneca understood this when he said, “Wild animals run from the dangers they actually see, and once they have escaped them worry no more. We however are tormented alike by what is past and what is to come. A number of our blessings do us harm, for memory brings back the agony of fear while foresight brings it on prematurely. No one confines his unhappiness to the present.”
The cure is obvious. To learn the skills required to handle the perceived threats. To become stronger than the chaos we fear.
So why don’t we do it?
Because it takes work and it actually has to be THE focus of what we do daily. We have to remind ourselves that this is super important to an anxiety “free” life and that it takes work to master our minds and bodies.
“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals, not under my control, and which have to do with the choice I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own.” — Epictetus
First – What Can I Fix?
So how do we actually becomes masters of our own minds and bodies to reduce anxiety? I know that one thing is situational confidence. Knowing that you can handle problems and situations that arise in your field of work or life by increasing your related abilities and knowledge.
To make a point, I know soldiers that are calm in violence and anxious at social parties. It’s all about what you know how to handle with confidence and competence.
Understand that you will not control all the chaos and uncertainty of this world. Trying to control chaos and probabilities leads to more stress. Trying to control the omnipresent is impossible and in and of itself is causing you stress.
It is better to know that you can HANDLE situations as they arrive because you are confident in your abilities to adapt and overcome.
If wild animals tried to avoid going near possible danger in wild, they could never go far enough to find food and water. They would be paralyzed by constantly running variables based on smells, sight, taste and hearing. Why? Because danger can and probably IS everywhere in the wild. Just like it is to some degree everywhere in our life.
When I say Stronger Than Chaos is the antidote to anxiety, I mean your ability to adapt, improvise and overcome.
Once you are able to handle your life challenges, physical (stress), mental (worry) and the cumulative Anxiety… through physical and mental strategies and effort, your anxiety won’t have a throne to sit on.
I haven’t covered avoidance. A short term effective strategy. But fear is a heavy backpack to carry while you run. We’ll talk about that later.