After reading “The Courage to Be Disliked” I felt like I’d discovered a personal guide on how to be happy… no matter what I’ve gone through before. It’s as if I’ve been handed the secret to not sweating over whether people like me or not…
Because, in the end, I realized happiness is something I can choose for myself.
Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga are the authors. They’re big on Adlerian psychology. It basically teaches that the fear of rejection doesn’t have to hold me back. That my happiness isn’t tied to my past experiences. That happiness is something I can shape with a growth mindset. Well that, and by taking responsibility for my actions.
The book encouraged me to live in the now, to not let past hurts control my present. It made me see the importance of focusing on what’s happening at this moment. And to release the old wounds that hold me back.
We have the power to change our lives for the better. It’s not about dwelling on what went wrong or what could have been. Instead, it’s about seeing ourselves as capable of change.
I wanted to take the reins of my life instead of falling into the trap of playing victim. Our circumstances or upbringing don’t define us. We define ourselves through our responses to them.
By recognizing my limiting beliefs and negative behaviorst I can overcome them by acknowledging my ability to change. The focus shifts from what happened, to what can having moving forward. I set goals, mak gradual progress towards them, and celebrate every little victory. This creates the life I dream of.
We can be ourselves without being antagonist to others. It’s a balance between maintaining individuality and living in harmony with the world around me. Owning my uniqueness with ADHD and expressing myself regardless of outcome has built my confidence.
I’ve boosted my self-esteem and increased my sense of purpose. Now I turn to face life’s challenges with a positive focused resilience.
“The Courage to Be Disliked” has been a fire starter for taking control of my life. I was a people pleaser. And it hurt me. Now I’m staying optimistic, and finding more ease with others. Adlerian psychology is a new lens for viewing human behavior. It showed me how to let go of the fear of being disliked and to choose my happiness first.
This book can change your life if you can deal with the style of dialogue. It’ll show you that you have far more control over your happiness than you thought. Especially once you stop letting past experiences dictate present happiness.
Give it a read and start working towards what matters, being happy with who you are.