Self-reliance is the key to building confidence because if you always need others opinions or help to make decisions, you are never in charge of yourself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Carry yourself in the presence of all opposition as if every thing were temporary and of no importance but that which you hold true.”
In modern times we call that a confident person. But in order to be confident in yourself, you must be able to rely on yourself in times of trouble and to know you are capable of handling whatever comes your way, regardless of what people say or do to you.
Be unafraid of anyone or anything and you are free to act, in your own best interests.
Dreams Die At The Alter Of Conformity
Do what you want, and refuse to conform to others wishes or opinions. Define life on your terms and live consistent with exactly what you want, not others wishes.
While genuine confidence is the best, fake confidence and unfounded confidence will get you further than no confidence.
At least with false confidence you are moving forward and getting data. Correct actions reveal themselves given enough attempts.
Many people in world don’t deserve to be in the positions they hold, based on their skills, experience and level of knowledge.
They are elevated into key positions and life situations because others believe in them. They rise to the top because others believe these confident people know what they are doing. Less confident people are more than happy to sign off responsibility and with it, the rewards.
Your boss makes more money than you do. Even if you are more capable.
Optimally, what if you had more confidence and it matched a high skill level?
Your whole world will change.
Let Your Fire Burn
Be very careful of making your predominant values security, compliance and obedience. This fallacy of instilled values comes from school, church, parents, military and jobs. They facilitate putting your head down to avoid punishment or get a reward. Follow your inner voice instead of habitually doing what you are told.
A coward incessantly seeks to please others because they lack self-reliance. When you make others desires supersede your own, you are a puppet.
Withhold giving others so much power that their disapproval immediately causes changes to your behaviour. When you do this without consulting yourself, your confidence and trust in yourself, dies.
Unhappiness continues until you reach a decision to cease bowing at the alter of other peoples missions.
It won’t serve you, to seek others approval, satisfaction and happiness ahead of what you truly want. These things can be withheld. You need to build self-confidence, to trust yourself and your judgement, create your own rewards and to gear your life towards accomplishing the things that truly matter to you and make you happy.
When you start becoming confident, calm and resilient…you might even find yourself happy.
Until next week,
Raymond Burton